


Yo-Ho-Ho and a Tower of Pimps

by MadDramaQueen



Series: RT Extra Life 1,337 word fic challenge [17]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: AH Pirate Crew, based on the Sea of Thieves stream
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-27
Updated: 2018-01-27
Packaged: 2019-03-09 23:42:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13492281
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MadDramaQueen/pseuds/MadDramaQueen
Summary: Ahoy, mateys!Welcome aboard the S.S. Achieve as we follow the most fearsome (or laughed at) pirate crew of the seven seas, led by Captain Short Beard. Arrr!





	Yo-Ho-Ho and a Tower of Pimps

Captain Short Beard, also known as Jeremy to his crew, was resting in the captain's sleeping quarters. He had a nice bed and the calm waters on the sea rocked him to sleep quickly. He was short in size, but big when it came to being a captain. Everyone listened when he gave orders around the ship and when they would dig for treasure. The crew were all friends, so the seriousness didn't last long.

A couple bangs on the door stirred the captain from his slumber.

"Arrghh..." he grumbled, rubbing his bald head in annoyance. "Who be waking me up so early in the morn?" 

After hearing the sounds of an accordion playing outside his door, he got his answer. "Blast it, Michael, with ye music so darn early! Belay those sounds and explain why ye woke me up!"

Michael, also known as first mate Peg Pecker, slowly opened the door and peeked in the room. In his pirate garb and musical instruments equipped, he gave his captain a salute and a smile. "Ahoy and good mornin' to ye, captain. We be approachin' land soon! And Cabin Boy Gavin snored so loudly last night, I vote we put him back in the brig!" 

Captain Short Beard chuckled and got out of bed, stretching and yawning all the while. "We can't be puttin' Gavin in the brig every day. As amusin' as it is, he is an asset to our crew and we need his hard work."

"Ye need someone to swab the poop deck."

"Arrr, that too." 

Michael chuckled and backed out of the room. "I'll be leaving ya to get your eyesore pirate robes on. Whoever decided to put orange and purple together, deserves to walk the plank! Arrr..." he shook his head and slammed the door before Jeremy could throw a dart from his dart board at him. Instead, it hit the door and plopped to the floor.

"Arrr, 'tis not easy being a pirate captain. Especially a short one."

\-------------  
Cabin Boy Gavin always had the most grueling of jobs to work on. Swabbing the poop deck was one of many. He had to make the captain's shoes shine, wash the dishes and make the beds. Occasionally, he'd sneak downstairs to get some grog, but his life was a hard one aboard the ship. 

On this particular morning, he was taking turns with Navigator Jack to steer and to look around for enemy ships.

"Hey, Jack. A thousand doubloons, but ye have to stay in the brig for the rest of yer life with only your underoos on." the Cabin Boy asked.

Navigator Jack looked up from the map and scratched his beard. "What kind of question is that? I wouldn't do that for a million doubloons! But, I'll throw ye in the brig fer free, you scallywag cabin boy. Get over here!" 

Gavin squawked as Jack chased him around the wooden helm of the ship as Peg Pecker took out his accordion and started singing ditties he makes up on the spot about what's currently happening.

_"There's Jack and Gavin,  
running all o'er the place  
Having lots of pirate fun,  
And giving lots of chase_

_The treasure has yet to be found  
And as I do this jig,  
Here comes the fearless captain now  
To throw them in the brig!"_

On cue, Captain Short Beard came out of his quarters, fully dressed and a bit annoyed.

"What be the meaning of this lolly gagging?! Back to yer posts at once!" he ordered.

"Aye, Captain!" the Navigator and Cabin Boy saluted as Jack had Gavin in a headlock. They broke free of their playing and went back to their work. The captain was satisfied and walked to his first mate, rolling his eyes at the impromptu musician. 

"Once for every occasion, huh Michael?" the Captain chuckled.

"Hey. 'Tis what I'm known for, Captain. I'm happy to entertain ye with my musical skills."

"Ye do, indeed. Now, let's the treasure and have some real pirate fun afterwards."

"Grog all around!" the Cabin Boy cheered. "Speaking of grog, a thousand doubloons, but-" 

"Shut up, Free!"

\------------

They parked the boat with some mishaps with lowering the anchor and sprouting some holes down below in the ship. The Cabin Boy and Michael helped to repair the damage and toss the water overboard in buckets. 

After the ship was repaired, the fearless crew finally put their sea legs in the sand.

"Arrr, mateys! If ye see an X on the ground, that's where the treasure be." the pirate captain ordered.

"Aye-aye!" they saluted. As they went off to look for treasure, the Cabin Boy was left looking on his own. He had a sword to defend himself from enemy pirates and giant monsters he thought swam the seven seas. He was all alone with his wits to guide him, but he wasn't alone for long.

"All right, you! Freeze with yer hands reaching Davey Jones' locker!" he heard a piratey voice with a drawl exclaim.

Gavin squawked and put his hands up in fear. "Who are you? You're not in my crew and playing a joke on me, are you?"

The pirate came into view and laughed. He was a pirate with many markings on his arms, a touch demeanor, but you can tell he was new at this whole pirate thing. He wore a pirate vest with an emblem of a cracked crown on the side of it.

"You're trespassin' on the island of Captain James, the Mad Pirate of the Seven Seas! And I be his first mate..y. Did I do that right, Captain James sir? Mr Captain sir?" 

A man with a pirate captain hat with that cracked crown logo on it and fancy pirate garb, stepped out from behind a tree, with a groan and a face palm. 

"First of all, Geoff, you're not my first mate. You're just the Cabin Boy. My first mate is still on the ship. And second of all, I have told you many times that my name is not James. It's Ryan. My father was called James when he sailed." 

Gavin tilted his head. "You're the Mad Pirate of the seas? You're not that scary! And ye don't even talk like a proper pirate!" 

The blue-eyed pirate showed him a sword, twice as big as his own with a smirk on his face. He pointed the tip of the sword at the cabin boy's quite large nose. "I wasn't brought up on the seas like my father, but trust me, I know how to fight like him. Now, where's your crew, so I can show you just how I got my title?"

Gavin did the only thing he could do: use the "help! I'm in trouble!" alarm (his excessive squawking) and the rest of the crew came a-running.

"Stand down, men! This be a dangerous pirate!" Captain Short Beard warned them.

"Then, I shall play a ditty for him, Captain." Peg Pecker took his accordion out again.

"I'm sorry?" Captain Ryan looked confused. 

Michael just started to dance and play.

_"There once was a pirate  
Whose tales, new and old  
Scared pirates to ne'er set sail_

_T'was mad with the powers  
Given by his dad  
Who fell overboard, consumed by a whale_

_He pillaged and plundered  
To his heart's content  
'Til a mutiny he had to fight_

_Rumor has it, they say  
No one got away  
The Red Sea was reformed that night."_

"Jesus Christ.." the navigator shuddered. 

"One of me darker songs, I guess." Michael shrugged.

"Hey, Captain? Is that our boat sailing away?" Cabin Boy Geoff pointed to a ship twice as large as the S.S. Achieve. It was slowly turning around and sailing away.

"What-? LINDSAY! LINDSAY! STOP THE SHIP!"

First Mate Lindsay just shrugged and waved as the ship sailed away, with her and the riches on it. 

The Mad Pirate dropped his sword and sighed. "Well, fuck. She was always a loose cannon."

Short Beard just shrugged. "Wanna join our crew?"

"Sure, why not?"


End file.
